Day 26-Monday, August 2nd
August 8, 2010 § 1 Comment
I can’t believe this is my last week at the school. Time has really flown by. I’ll be honest and say that some days were really hard and really challenging. I don’t really feel like I’m a teacher here; I feel like I’m just here to hang out with the students and speak English with them. I didn’t really have much direction…no curriculum, no resources, etc. I never really knew what was expected or what they wanted me to accomplish, but I do know that there was purpose in my being here. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know the students, and I’ve done my best to teach them what I can. One of the hardest parts of this whole thing is seeing the students who don’t really have a desire to learn. I can tell them multiple times to get to work on their assignment, but if they don’t want to then I really can’t force them. I also understand that many of them don’t have a true need for learning English, and my main concern is not the language itself, but it worries me if they feel this way about all of their other classes. If they know that they’re not going to go any further in their education past high school, then there’s really no need for my class. I don’t know if they realize this and that’s why some of them don’t care, or if because they don’t think they can go any further…like it’s not possible for them. That’s what upsets me. Some kids can’t afford it. Some kids have to start working as soon as they get out to help support their family. Some kids already have their future planned for them by their parents. I’m very much a realist, so I know that not every student in my class will go much further, but I hate that they end up being the ones who distract those who really have a desire to learn. Some of my kids are so driven and so determined to make their lives better, but sometimes they end up suffering the consequences of the actions of their classmates. It’s tough…I can’t just lump all of them together, but when I have to get onto the class for something all of them have to hear it. I always try to be fair and assure them that I realize that not all of them were involved, but that many of their classmates were. I guess I’m learning more about classroom management here.
I told all of my classes that this was my last week to be with them, and they were really disappointed I had to leave. They kept asking me if I would be back next summer to teach again. I didn’t want to say no, but I had to explain that Courtney wouldn’t be living here anymore, flight tickets are ridiculously expensive, etc. I don’t think they really liked my answer, and I don’t really like it either. In a perfect world, I would come back all the time to see them, but sometimes these things end up being one-time deals…I really hope not, though. I love this place. I love the people. I’ve loved my time here. I really hope to come back someday.